is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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