I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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