I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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