Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
