Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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