We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
