sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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