Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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