My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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