There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
