i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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