You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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