yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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