she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
