absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
