I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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