If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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