can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
