Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
