He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
