so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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