it hurts more in the daytime
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
