I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
