she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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