Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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