My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
