the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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