marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
