it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
