Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
