At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He shit in the fireplace
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
