so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
