I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
