I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
