I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
