he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
