Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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