you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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