not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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