We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
