I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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