i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
