I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this boner is exhausting
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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