no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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