were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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