was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
