Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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