I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
