I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's the barista slut.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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