I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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