he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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