first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
