how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
