Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
